爱华网笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。小编精心收集了英语短笑话故事带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
英语短笑话故事带翻译：Raccoons
Part of my job at the state fish and wildlife department is to lend equipment to residents for trapping and relocating raccoons. A man who had been successful at capturing one of the animals called to ask whether raccoons mated for life. He said his daughter was worried that they might have separated a monogamous couple.
"I don't know why she's so concerned," he added. "She's been married three times."
浣熊
我在州政府鱼类和野生动物部门工作时，负责向居民们出借捕浣熊的装备。一个人捕获了一只猎物，他打电话来询问浣熊是否终生只有一个伴侣。他说他的女儿担心他们可能拆散了一对终生伴侣。
“我不知道她为什么这么关心这事，”他补充说，“她自己已经结过三次婚了。”
英语短笑话故事带翻译：Did You Know Him?
At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater. One of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal.
"I sure was!" answered the host. "He's the biggest jerk I've ever met. Did you know him too?"
"Sort of," replied the guest. "My mother married him last Saturday."
你认识他吗?
在朋友家的一次宴会上，主人提起一位高中时的校友。一位客人问他读书期间，某位副校长是否也在职。
“当然了，”主人答道。“他是我见过的最大的混蛋。你也认识他吗?”
“有点认识，”客人回答。“我妈妈上周六嫁给了他。”
英语短笑话故事带翻译：Wait a Minute
Tom: My grand God, what does a millennium mean to you?
God: It only means a minute.
Tom: My omnipotent god, what do 10,000 golden coins mean to you?
God: Just a small coin.
Tom: My humane god, please give me a small coin.
God: Ok, poor man, please wait a minute.
等一分钟
汤姆：我伟大的上帝，一千年对你来说，意味着什么?
上帝：它只意味着一分钟。
汤姆：我万能的上帝，一万枚金币对你来说，意味着什么?
上帝：它只意味着一枚小硬币。
汤姆：我仁慈的上帝，那就请给我一枚小硬币吧!
上帝：好吧，可怜的人，请等一分钟吧。
英语短笑话故事带翻译：EXPENSIVE ADVICE
The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who sought advice on a health problem.
"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.
"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."
"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."
When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found a letter from the lawyer. It read:
"For legal services, $50."
昂贵的建议
大夫在打发走了一个就健康问题向他咨询的妇女之后，最后来到餐桌上。
“你认为我应该向她收费吗?”大夫问坐在身边的一个律师。
“有什么不应该?”律师答道，“你通过提建议提供了职业性服务。”
“谢谢，”大夫说道，“看来我得这么做。”
第二天当大夫去办公室给那位妇女写账单时，他收到律师的一封信。信中写道：
“请付法律服务费50美元。”
英语短笑话故事带翻译：I'M NOT HAVING IT ALL CUT OFF.
Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.
"Hello, Miles," the manager said. "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time."
"Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. "You see, sir, it grows in office time."
"Not all of it," said the manager at once. "Some of it grows in your own time."
"Yes, sir, that's quite true." Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."
没把头发全剪掉啊!
麦尔斯有时在上班时间去理发馆理发，但这是违反办公室规定的：职员只能利用自己的时间理发。一天，正当麦尔斯理发时，经理碰巧也进来理发，而且就坐在他旁边。
"你好，麦尔斯，"经理说。"我看到你在上班时间理发了。"
"是的，先生。正是这样。"麦尔斯平静地承认了。"可先生，你看，头发是在上班时间长的。"
"不全都是吧，"经理立刻说，"有一些是在你自己的时间里长的。"
"对呀，先生，你说得很对。"麦尔斯礼貌地回答说，"但我并没有把头发全都剪掉啊。"
